Weigh-In

Let's just get this out on the table:

Week 2 Results:

Pounds lost : 0 (But at least it wasn't a gain.)

Inches lost*: 1.5" total
Hips: 0"
Waist: 1"
Chest: .5"

I am disappointed, but not surprised. I let too many things interfere this past week like the weather, a child who decided sleeping at night was not her cup of tea, and the risidual soreness from a few Pilates workouts. The excercising is not a problem, as long as I get it done. I really enjoy my workouts, and they provide some much-appreciated solo time that is so rare as a new mom.

I try to only buy healthy foods and make most everything from scratch. I avoid prepackaged, easy-to-prepare, death-in-a-box meals. We live on skim milk, wheat bread, lean chicken breasts and 96% lean ground beef in this household, a carry-over from growing up in the house of a post-heart bypass patient. Now, don't get me wrong, there are occasional treats here and there, and our Sundays are usually days of gratifying meals with family and friends, but we by no means live on junk food here. Even if we wanted to, we simply couldn't afford it.

I feel like I am eating pretty healthy. I try to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables everyday, and I drink (I have slacked in the last 3 days or so) close to 120 oz (!) of water. So why am I struggling ? Could it possibly be that I am not consuming enough calories?? Being a nursing mom, I am wondering if this is a possibility.

I need to find my zone regarding this whole process. Once I do, I think things will progress better. But I feel like I am moving ahead rather blindly.

Weigh-In

I have been dreading this all day. Why did I agree to do this?? Oh yeah, because I want to fit into this:

and to have arms that look like this again:

And so, my results for Week 1:

Pounds lost : 1

Inches lost*: 3" total

Hips: 1"

Waist: 1"

Chest: 1"

*I measured about 3 weeks ago, so this is not the result of 1 weeks work, I don't think.

I will admit, I was quite disappointed this morning by the low loss. I really worked hard last week. I will definitely be giving it a little more this next week. This is working, though. The fact that I have decided to regularly post about the journey has made me think twice about what I do, and motivates me to try harder for a larger number of pounds off next week. Even if that means scraping ice off of the car in 5*F weather at 7 AM, while wearing capris in order to drive to the gym while my husband and daughter sleep warmly under their covers.

High Dive

I have been contemplating this next move for over a month now...

It's a bit like deciding to jump of the high dive...first you talk about it, a lot. Then you decide not to do it. Then your friends call you chicken. You reply with, "I'm not a chicken!" and climb out of the pool wondering why on earth you are doing what you are about to do. You stand shivering in line at the bottom thinking, "Really?! Really?!?" As you begin to ascend the ladder and walk out on the diving board, your heart begins to pound out of your chest, and then you quickly turn back and contemplate going back down the ladder. You probably repeat this process a few more times. What is the worst that could happen? Public humiliation as you belly flop? Pain? A swift rescue by the nearest lifeguard? Or maybe you enter the water smoothly, experiencing a new sense of adventure and the sweet taste of victory for conquering your fear and proving something to the doubters.

I am ready to jump.

Today represents my dive.

Only the days and months that follow will show whether I belly-flop (no pun intended) or show my grace.

I have been working for several weeks to lose weight, eat healthier, become better at taking care of myself. My goal is to be 70 pounds lighter by the Huge Family Reunion in July.

In order to motivate myself and increase my chances at success, every Tuesday I will log on and record my progress towards my goal. I WILL NOT tell everyone my current weight, but will record the number of pounds lost each week, as well as how I am doing it. I trust you to hold me accountable. Check back...let me know you are watching...and "weighting"...and holding your breath as I jump.

I have yet to come up with a catchy name for this weekly post, so if you have any ideas, I am open.

Let the diving begin.

Six

6 Months! Can you believe it? I am sure you probably can, but I am still struggling.

For your reading pleasure, I bring you my list of 6 reasons I love Little A:

1. Your smile. Even on my toughest days, that little turn of your lips makes me melt over and over again.

2. Your constant state of discovery. I know this is common to all your peers, but to be privy to every new look, sound, and movement you make causes me to bubble up with pride and an excitement I can't explain....

3. Your everpresent desire for attention. It reminds me of someone I know...

4. Your blue, blue eyes. They remind me of your father, and I feel like I can see right into you through them.

5. Your snuggles. I don't think I could feel more at peace than when you are snuggled up at my neck or in my arms, awake and studying my face, but totally quiet and calm, needing nothing more than to just be loved.

6. You made me a mother. I find no deeper satisfaction in this life than being your mom. You have helped me gain more patience and find more inner strength than I knew posessed. You have softened and humbled me. You have given me the chance to find my true calling and nature, brought me closer to my Father In Heaven, and filled me with a great desire to be better. You will always be the child that made me a Mother, and for that you will forever have my heart.

Are you out there???

So I have been deeply negligent in my blogging responsibilties. I am quite sure I have lost what little readership I had. But in my defense, our household has been plagued of late with illness, sleepless nights, and the busyness that comes with this time of year. By the time I sit down to the computer, it is usually 11:30 at night and my brain is too hazed to function.

It has been quite a month since my last post, though:

Little A began solid food, threw it up, began again, threw it up, and began again (the joy of orange retching has yet to be something I have found).

She learned to sit up on her own.

(If I take pictures from the front, she gets distracted by the camera and falls over...so most of those shots resemble this:)

I got the tree and decorations up WAY early, anticipating the delay that is Little A...

(Why four you ask?? Because I can't handle the assymetry of having 3 hooks with stockings and 1 without...)

Peter got promoted, works a swing shift and finished classes for the semester. Yeah! I think his finals week was just as stressful for me as my own finals weeks were...I am not sure I can handle three more years of this plus grad school..eek!

My wonderful sleeper (remember 9 pm to 7 am anyone?) also stopped sleeping through the night...more on that later.

Oh, and I got a job doing childcare in my home for a baby a little younger than Little A starting in January.

Overall it has been an eventful, satisfying, and sometimes frustrating several weeks...but I think I am back in the swing! Tune in for "The Tale of Tears" coming soon!