I found this photographer (www.simplybephoto.com) through the family I tend for. She takes beautiful photos and I am itching to get some done for Little A. She has a giveaway going on through the weekend. Check her out! You'll get sucked in by the photos and understand where I am coming from! I think she could capture Little A's Baby Blues wonderfully.
Post Edit: The link for the photographer was hijacked somehow and was taking people to a weird site. Hopefully it works correctly now.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
My two lovesFriday, June 5, 2009
A Work In Progress
Well, believe it or not, I did not drop off the face of the earth. I am lousy at following through with things, I will get that out on the table right now. I am determined not to "belly-flop" though, consider me mid-dive.
I have officially lost all the baby weight which is a wonderful feeling. I gained back most of the weight I lost, but have managed to lose it all plus a few more pounds (about 11-12 pounds total) in the last two and a half weeks. If I keep my focus, I am able to progress. I am so dissappointed in myself, though, for all the time wasted. I have a million reasons why it hasn't happened like I planned. Some are legitimate reasons and some are just excuses. But I am working on it.
I wish I had more self-discipline. I am learning everyday of new weaknesses I posess, or I guess I should say I am starting to recognize existing weaknesses. I want so badly to overcome each and every one of them immediately and become this perfect, strong woman. It has been a great struggle this past week or so to realize that that is not going to happen as quickly as I would like.
I don't know that I have ever been so tired, er, exhausted, in my entire life. There have certainly been times when I have felt worn down and burned out, but there has generally always been a respite following them. Right now, I see no respite in sight. I love being a mother with every fiber of my being. It is truly the role I feel most qualified to play in life. Everyone tells you how tired you will be, but I don't know if it is a concept one can even comprehend until they find themselves here, carrying this mantle that is motherhood. I was not, am not, prepared for the strain of sleepless night after sleepless night. It is taking a toll on me. Little A has had double ear infections followed by teething followed by more double ear infections followed by more teething, for the last 4 months. She sleeps so well during the day for her naps and is the picture of pleasantness, but nighttime rolls around and she is up consistently two to three times a night. Add to that the fact that my husband works a swing shift, and my nights are shot. I wake up around 6:30 am and lay in a fog for an hour.
I need to find a solution. The looming thought of weaning Little A has been on the forefront of my mind lately. It breaks my heart, but I know that in order to lose the weight I need to lose it is going to have to take place. It also might help her sleep through the night better. But she WILL NOT take formula or milk. This is foreign territory for me, and I am at a loss.
That is how I feel right now... at a loss.
I apologize for the length of this post, and the fact that it is likely not coherent. But I feel like things are sorted out a little better in my head...and isn't that the point?
I have officially lost all the baby weight which is a wonderful feeling. I gained back most of the weight I lost, but have managed to lose it all plus a few more pounds (about 11-12 pounds total) in the last two and a half weeks. If I keep my focus, I am able to progress. I am so dissappointed in myself, though, for all the time wasted. I have a million reasons why it hasn't happened like I planned. Some are legitimate reasons and some are just excuses. But I am working on it.
I wish I had more self-discipline. I am learning everyday of new weaknesses I posess, or I guess I should say I am starting to recognize existing weaknesses. I want so badly to overcome each and every one of them immediately and become this perfect, strong woman. It has been a great struggle this past week or so to realize that that is not going to happen as quickly as I would like.
I don't know that I have ever been so tired, er, exhausted, in my entire life. There have certainly been times when I have felt worn down and burned out, but there has generally always been a respite following them. Right now, I see no respite in sight. I love being a mother with every fiber of my being. It is truly the role I feel most qualified to play in life. Everyone tells you how tired you will be, but I don't know if it is a concept one can even comprehend until they find themselves here, carrying this mantle that is motherhood. I was not, am not, prepared for the strain of sleepless night after sleepless night. It is taking a toll on me. Little A has had double ear infections followed by teething followed by more double ear infections followed by more teething, for the last 4 months. She sleeps so well during the day for her naps and is the picture of pleasantness, but nighttime rolls around and she is up consistently two to three times a night. Add to that the fact that my husband works a swing shift, and my nights are shot. I wake up around 6:30 am and lay in a fog for an hour.
I need to find a solution. The looming thought of weaning Little A has been on the forefront of my mind lately. It breaks my heart, but I know that in order to lose the weight I need to lose it is going to have to take place. It also might help her sleep through the night better. But she WILL NOT take formula or milk. This is foreign territory for me, and I am at a loss.
That is how I feel right now... at a loss.
I apologize for the length of this post, and the fact that it is likely not coherent. But I feel like things are sorted out a little better in my head...and isn't that the point?
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